 Image from Pinterest.com We sat in the hallway in preparation for our Reading Intervention session. The sweet boy in front of me has had a life that's not be so easy and yet he still has this sweet, eager, bubbly personality that makes my whole heart swell with love. He leans close as I show him what we're going to do today. "So, you gots kids?" he asks me. "I do," I tell him. "How many boys do you have?" he wants to know. "I don't have a son anymore. I've got two daughters and a new baby grandson," I say and only feel a pang for the child lost to me. "What do you mean 'anymore'? What happened to him?" he asks. "He ...." I pause a long time, unsure how to answer him in seven-year-old speak. "He died and is in Heaven now," I tell him quickly. "Oh," he says and pats my face gently. We begin reading the list of prefixes and suffixes, speaking no more of anything but how to make new words, but my mind is not done with our brief impromptu conversation.
There was a time, not too long ago, where the entire exchange would have broken my heart all over again. Now what breaks my heart is the potent, sincere compassion from a child who's world is unfun. My son is safe from harm. This boy, he has a whole world full of potential pitfalls ahead of him and the challenges he's facing may, in fact, break him. We come to "-an" and I say to him, "You are a boy, but someday you'll grow up and be a...?" "A man," he tells me proudly. "Yes, you will," I say, smiling. "You'll be a very good man," I predict, unsure if this is true but praying with all my heart that it is. I pray almost as hard for that potential outcome as I did for the protection and safe birth of my own son. That prayer went unanswered. Hopefully the one for this boy will not. I'm learning after the pain of my own loss, what remains is an even more passionate desire to see the children of this world do great things, and be surrounded by nurturing love. Whether that's realistic or not...*shrugs* I have no control over that part. All I can do is pray, and give my own nurturing love whenever possible to whatever child might need it.
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About The Author
I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter. Archives
August 2021
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