Friday after work, my youngest daughter phoned me, "It's time, Mom. Hannaha's having the baby." My heart kicked into overdrive! Nine months of waiting for the arrival of the newest little human in our family and now he was on his way. I grabbed something to eat from a drive-through (that didn't have TWO sections) and rushed to the hospital. The rush was unnecessary on my part, however, because our little guy had other plans that would involve making us wait all through the night and well into Saturday morning before his arrival. At 10:03 am the most amazing creature I've ever seen slipped into this world. I couldn't wait to see his exhausted mother. I couldn't wait to count his fingers and toes, hold him, smell him, and just take in his entire essence. I was a goner, drawn wholly in to a tiny life only minutes old!

Sunday night, when the house was quiet and dark, my husband and I lay in our bed softly talking about the big event. "I've experienced all kinds of love in my life, babe, but this one...I've never felt like this before." "Oh yeah," he replied. "Discovered a new one, did you?" I snuggled close, nodding. "Yessir, I did. Holy cow! I didn't know," I whispered. "I didn't know this feeling even existed," I told him. He hugged me tight. "Me either, grandmaw," he teased, playfully drawing out the new title then smooching my whole face.

Some people have said that becoming a grandparent made them feel old, while others have wished me a warmhearted welcomed to the "club". I don't know what having a grandchild is "supposed" to feel like, all I know is that being a Nana has changed my life. It has showed me a new layer of love connected to a legacy that feels as if it has just begun, a legacy that I helped create. That is a serious WOWZERS feeling! And even though I was exhausted, it was a long time before I was able to fall asleep last night, my mind in hyper-drive over the unlimited possibilities for this smallest member of my Tribe. Welcome to the world my little angel baby. Grow and do GREAT things! You have a lot of people who love you and are cheering for your success!

This doodling habit of mine has been picking at my brain since I wrote about it in yesterday's blog article, so I started doing some digging into my past. As I tore closets and the garage apart, I found forgotten boxes full of a dozen sketch books, art pencils, paints, post-it notes, highlighters, and a whole lot of various junk I'm saving for God knows what reason. I can't even believe most of this stuff has made it through twenty-six years of traveling all over the place! I sat in the floor and looked through all of my sketch books, most of which weren't even half full (...which tells me I draw some, lose the book, buy a new one and start over). The images on the pages were like looking at a time capsule filled with bits of flotsam from my life.

There were sketches done when I was a new bride, and when things started to go wrong, various pieces of things that made me smile or merely showed a snap shot of what was going on at the time. This artistic layer is almost like a second skin that I really was completely oblivious to. I mean, I knew I enjoyed drawing, I just didn't know that I do it all the time...like breathing.

What does it mean? What does this say about me? I could philosophize about each penciled choice, dissecting it down to my most basic feelings and thoughts that it might represent, but where's the fun in that? I'd much rather simply post them and allow you to draw your own conclusions, or better yet, let them speak to something inside of YOU.

To my mind, that's what art is supposed to be...a means of tapping into each individual who takes it in and allows them to do whatever he or she wishes by way of internalizing meaning. As I gave myself time to consider each picture I'd drawn, I'm sure the meaning they have for me now is not the same as what was intended when I first penned them to a page. Many years of life experience separates me from the moment when they were new, and with that experience comes a new perspective, as well as an opening up of a lens that was much more narrow. Anyway, I hope you will find among my drawings something compelling, perhaps inspiring for your own life. 

Always,
A.

The last two days of my teacher training I've been working on designing a cover for my notebook while I listened to our lectures about how students learn to read. It didn't occur to me until yesterday that I listen much better if I'm engaged in some form of constant stimulation (i.e. doodling while the speaker goes over large chunks of detailed information). You would think that at forty-six I would have known this about myself by now, but honestly it's so second nature I don't even think about it...kind of like blinking. It's interesting I had this epiphany while getting an involved lesson on how our brains process the act of learning to read, the science behind it, and what information is coded per various sections of our brain. It is also not lost on me that many of my students over the years have their own set of quirks when it comes to learning. Talk about an important "ah ha" moment!

I think it's too easy for us to just assume learning is a one-size-fits-all (...or most) kind of process, when the reality is that we all see, grow, and process the world around us through our own unique lens. Sure, we frequently find similarities, but those don't negate that we all look specifically through OUR eyes and see a vision no one else can see but us. This complete individuality is so totally applicable to many things beyond just reading, or an academic way of learning. The mental list I can conjure up of other areas where this relates is vast!

So, to all of the students back in school I say---don't get discouraged if it takes you longer to do stuff than others or if you are dealing with a learning disability that makes learning much more of a challenge (...NASA actively seeks out employees who are dyslexic because they are much more adept at spacial concepts and other applicable skills needed to be successful in that field). Find a pace that works for you and stick with it. For us parents and teachers...be sure to encourage students and help them find ways to enhance the gifts each of them possess. As for me, I like going at learning from a snail's pace standpoint...that way stuff has time to really sink in. I like to be able to play with, color-coordinate, and categorize new information in ways that make sense to me (...which usually include a visual). It's not always very convenient in this crazy, fast-paced world we live in, but it remains my "go to" way of doing things.

On my way home from work today, I decided to stop at McDonald's for lunch since I knew I was going to be spending most of the afternoon doing yard work. The one closest to me has a dual drive-through and I must confess I'm really weird about it. When I do the drive-through, I almost always get annoyed if someone else comes in after me, goes to the other side, and gets to the window before me (...which is just about guaranteed to happen, dang my luck)! Indignantly I'm screaming in my head, "I was FIRST!" This completely messes up the way my world is supposed to be ordered. I have to talk myself out of my crazy before I get to the window so that I don't bite the head off of the poor drive-through person (because otherwise I totally will). It's a good thing my southern manners are a stronger compulsion than my cranky, righteous indignation. I do often wonder if I'm the only goofball who feels this way about a dual drive-through order of operations!

I know, it smacks of my Type A/OCD personality that something so trivial just flat out gets under my skin. Thankfully the people who love me happily put up with all of my quirks. I'm generally not a fan of "fast food" anyway, so the drive-through injustice rarely occurs. I knew it was a mistake taking the easy lunch way out today and I wasn't wrong. Besides having to deal with the conehead who came after me and beat me to the window, the food gave me a wicked tummy ache! Next time I'll save myself the stress, calories, and insult to my digestive system.

Rolling farmland stretched out as far as the eye could see, with the occasional rustic barn and farmhouse dotted in between. I soaked up my first images of rural Michigan, excited to finally connect my sister and her family to the state I'd heard so much about over the years. It was vibrant, beautiful, with a soft, inviting feel to it that reminded me of my sister's personality. This place suits her, I thought. Suddenly we came up on a huge stretch of fields covered in towering white windmills. Their enormous blades gently turned in silent sentry. God, they were bewitching. I smiled because my sister is like that too sometimes. Startling and unexpected, powerful and full of energy. 

My husband and I drove fourteen hours (one way) to see her daughter get married, but the real reason we went was to be supportive of people who through happy circumstance have become part of us. My Mary Sunshine and her family have been woven through the fabric of our lives in a pattern that just makes perfect sense, bonded to us with the thread of our shared military experiences. It is difficult to put into words the forged-by-fire feel that often happens among military wives, as they make a sisterhood to anchor themselves to when life gets overwhelming and blood kin is far away. Sometimes that lifeline was the only thing that kept me sane. 

So, we trekked a total of 810 miles this past weekend to be there for the life-changing event..little J.'s marriage. We danced, laughed, cried, hugged a lot of people, made some new friends and celebrated J's life-journey. Along the way, my husband and I got to spend quality time together talking about nearly every topic imaginable, solved all the world's problems on some Interstate up north, enjoyed the view of America where our path took us that we'd have completely missed out on if we'd taken a plane (...which would have been a tragedy), and added some new experiences to our own life-journey (i.e. seeing my very first great lake in person...now I want to see them ALL). It was an amazing weekend and already I can't wait to see my sister again!

I want to extend a warm thank you to the people in Michigan who were so kind and welcomed us with open arms! Hospitality is NOT just a southern thing!

At my teacher's meeting this morning, we spent a lot of time talking about when and how children acquire language. Did you know that from birth to twenty-four months, the average child learns about two words per day? From age two, on, their acquisition of language is frankly quite staggering! This is very dependent on their home environment (no surprise there)...how frequently they are spoken to verses "at", how often (if ever) they are read to, etc. all have a huge impact on their growth. One of the teachers from our meeting stood up and shared with us a story about her fifteen-month-old goddaughter. She said that after reading about this research, she was very aware (and a little freaked out) about how she spoke to the child. She wondered, "Did she learn two words today? If so, were they good ones?" We all chuckled. I did because I know just how neurotic I can be when faced with lots of new information!

As I thought back to when my own daughters were small, I tried to recall precisely how their father and I speak to them, treated them? Unaware of any of this research (which was probably a good thing), we did what we thought was "right". Turns out, most of the time it WAS (whew!). To our minds, we were simply teaching them the language of living, i.e. how to express themselves, know the difference between right and wrong, and opening up as much of the big ol' world to them as possible. We read to them almost daily, and left the rest of their education up to the girls, themselves, their teachers and life.

Often one of the first lessons parents teach their children is the basic, "Don't touch the hot stove or you'll get burned." Unfortunately, until they actually do it, they don't have any framework for what being "burned" means, so inevitably most try it just to see what will happen. The lesson is a potent one and most of the time, they do not touch a hot stove intentionally again. Of course by touching the stove they also learned other things, such as their parents care about them and their well-being, and that sometimes the consequences of their actions can be painful. As an adult, this became a powerful metaphor for me, one that I apply to almost every choice I must make that comes with potentially painful risks, i.e. getting close to someone or making a big career decision. I have also discovered that the more I learn, the more I want to learn (even when it makes me neurotic...and I apologize to my family for this in advance).  Whether that's as a teacher or merely plain ol' life lessons, my desire to continue growing has become nearly insatiable. Turns out that is something I have in common with children (one of my favorite somethings, in fact)! It is a connection that helps me help them to develop their own language of living...new little voices in a big ol' world finding their place...or making one!

I am attending the wedding of a beautiful young lady on Saturday, whom I've known since almost the moment she was born. That day actually feels a bit like it happened yesterday. Where does the time go?! I have been thinking for the last month about marriage in general, (due to my recent anniversary) and hers specifically (because it feels like just a moment ago the bride was merely a baby). This, my sweet J., is my best advice:

• Expect the unexpected...rarely does anything go as planned, especially in a marriage.
  
• When things get tense, reach for the love BEFORE the anger.
• Take care with your words. Once they are spoken, they cannot be taken back.
• Know your limits and don't be afraid to speak them.
• You won't have all the answers, and that's okay.
• Don't go to bed angry, even if you have to stay up all night.
• Forget about the notion that marriage is 50/50. It's not. EVER. Usually, however, it does balance out.
• Remember why you fell in love.
  
• The falling in love part is pretty easy. Staying in love takes work!
  
• Don't worry if your marriage/relationship doesn't look like anyone else's. It's not supposed to. Make it personal and do what works between the two of you.

I love you to the Moon and back, lady. Bringing with me my very best wishes. And don't worry, I'll totally understand if you don't take any of my advice. *SMOOCH*

It's been quite awhile since I purchased a wedding gift. I've gotta say, I'm horribly behind on what THE c-o-o-l gift might be, so I did what people do today and typed  "Top 100 Wedding Gifts" into Google. Dinner cruises, food gift baskets, and a metal boat bowl with serving oars came up...and I just shook my head. I did have a good laugh at how many times bottles of wine were suggested. Apparently wedded bliss requires one to be sloshed. Who knew?! I gave up on the internet and headed out to find the right thing the old fashioned way...browsing!

As I walked up and down aisles in some of my favorite shops, I thought the best gifts for a newly married couple aren't things at all. Lending an ear when they need it, showing love and support, setting a good example...these are the gifts that I have appreciated most. It also meant a lot to me when others backed off and let me and my husband find our own way, which turns out is ridiculously messy! Being married to another human being is HaRD! The level of commitment and work required is far greater than anyone warns you about as they suggest China patterns you should register for.

My husband and I nearly threw in the towel several times over the last twenty-eight years. So, why didn't we? Because we were lucky and only one of us at a time got to the "givin' up point" at a time, while the other dug in to fight and hold things together. I am so grateful we made it and as I look back at all of the monumental hurdles we've overcome, I am confident that there is nothing he and I can't face together! My wish for the soon to be newlyweds is that they won't give up on each other when life sends storms their way, and sooner or later it totally will. Repeatedly! The good news is, a lot of people are rooting for their success. That, too, is a heck of a gift. Having people in your corner...priceless! I did, however, purchase a traditional gift, because none of the things mentioned above are easily wrapped!

"You can find magic wherever you look. Sit back and relax, all you need is a book." ~Dr. Seuss

The speaker approached the podium and waited for the room to become silent. Three hundred plus educators were gathered on this first day back from summer break, so it took a few minutes for the side conversations to die down. He didn't seem to mind, the older man patient...a former classroom educator, himself. As the last of the chatter fell away, he uttered these words: "Your students next week will remember almost nothing that you teach them. They will, however, remember these two things--a book you read aloud, and how you make them feel about themselves. Most of them will remember those two things for the rest of their lives." He certainly had the full attention of everyone in the room with that! It had been many years since I was a grade school student, but he was absolutely right. As my mind eagerly searched to prove or disprove his stark point, I could easily recall the names of several great books teachers had read to me, like Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume (who became one of my favorite childhood authors). I could also vividly recall the name of a teacher who made me feel horrible and stupid, as well as one who made me believe in myself and want to learn. The speaker prompted us to take a few minutes and share stories with those at our table. We eagerly complied (at least everyone sitting close to me). I was amazed as I listened to the others at my table talk. No matter what age, everyone could recall the details of their own experiences. I was also very frustrated. The prospect of the "meat" of my lessons, the pedagogy I was so determined to get right, being quickly forgotten was disheartening. Why was I killing myself researching and meticulously planning each and every lesson? Carefully aligning them to state standards and ensuring that they were "rigorous" enough? What was the point?

It took several more years of teaching for me to discover that answer. The above district wide meeting took place in my second year of teaching, when I was already wildly overwhelmed with the amount of information there was to know. Now that I'm beginning my eleventh year, I understand that even if my students don't remember the details of what I teach, learning is still taking place. Their brains are being hard-wired on how to problem solve, get along with others, analyze the the world around them, and if I am successful at the job of "teaching", they will grow in knowledge, and be inspired with the curiosity to learn more. That is the academic part of being an educator, but by no means does the story end there. As I step in front of new, learning faces, no matter their age group, my main responsibility is to help them build their wings. I do this by challenging them, loving them, and most of all believing in them so loud, they begin to believe in themselves. When dealing with them I must always check my tone, bite back any harsh words of criticism, and be sure to encourage them every step of the way in whatever task I ask them to do. Finally, I need to read to them. Often. In a way that keeps them hanging on my every word (...which is, for me, the most fun task of all!).

Note: In the classroom, I am strict on teaching my students proper spelling and grammar techniques. As a writer, however, I happily break those rules I know so well with reckless abandon!

From my Aunt Barbara Aldrich 1934-2012, my little man's grandmother (and my mother's sister)--"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. You're old for a very long time."

Life is so much simpler when you're seven. Your worries are small, your days are simple, and ice cream is the greatest treat ever. Having my little man (my cousin's son) here for a visit is a potent reminder to me that we shouldn't lose our joy of uncomplicated living. I don't know why it is that with the onslaught of adulthood we completely abandon our unencumbered zest for life, but we seem to leave it somewhere between bill paying and having a grown-up job. It's a mistake! And perhaps this is why I have often found being an adult a total let down. Remember when we were all SO excited to grow up? And then we did it only to discover it was a trap, a big fat lie! Sure, we could run with scissors now and eat cake for breakfast, but we also were stuck with a thousand responsibilities and no one to take care of them but...ourselves!

When my little man heads home on Saturday, I need him to leave behind the spirit of seven. The older I get, the more I want to turn back the clock and embrace all things found in those straightforward childhood pleasures. Maybe if I slip some of that out of his suitcase before he leaves, he won't notice. I'm sure he has an abundance to share. I'll have a wee dose of that boundless energy, too, while we're at it.

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