Too Crowded Tuesday

From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor. It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone! (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)

Too Crowded Tuesday

6/23/2015

2 Comments

I sat staring at a blank page while my brain bounced from idea to idea in random flashes.....why is it that some people don't know you even when they know almost everything about you, while others who barely know a thing about you connect on a visceral level?...do I share too much with my daughters or should I hold back more in order to protect them?....I wonder how my father is doing today? ....on and on they crash like waves against my brain, many of them disconnected. I feel as if they're going to start leaking out of my ear at any moment!

Honestly, that happens to me a lot, my head full of thoughts, crowded with information it categorizes, analyzes, and processes at speeds that make me dizzy. It's like this bulging bus full of people and I just want to crawl up there and shove some of them off so there will be some quiet spaces amidst all the flipping noise! Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Instead I have to find various means of distracting myself to give the overwhelming amount of thoughts time to seep into wherever they go when I don't pay attention to them because they DO eventually shut up. How do you wrap up a stream of consciousness that seemingly has not beginning or end? I'm happily open to suggestions besides a lobotomy!

2 Comments

About The Author

I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

Mark

6/23/2015 08:38:27 am

Rather than a frontal lobotomy, I'll take a bottle in front of me. Hugs. I know of what you speak.

Amy M. Schaefer

6/24/2015 04:31:26 am

I'd drink it away if I thought that would work. It won't. I remember my mother trying to find answers at the bottom of a Scotch glass and dying without ever having them come to her. The only true healer of anything besides understanding whatever it is that has caused you pain is time. That's difficult for me because I'm not a patient person, but when I look back at all of the things that tried to break me and realize just what I've conquered so far, it feels much less scary and daunting. Right now that will have to do. Sending you hugs back. And Mark? Thanks.

Love,
A.

From the Front Porch