The Ups & Downs

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Yesterday definitely makes it into my top ten list of "Worst Days Ever". It has left me today with this hollow pit in my stomach and a sadness that feels like an oily coat over my skin. When my alarm went off this morning, I was seriously hoping the phone would ring, life calling to say, "Today is cancelled. Go back to bed." I opened my eyes, grateful to be alive, but really wishing I could just hide from the entire world, curled up safe and warm, licking my wounds. *snorts* The world, however, stops for no one. So, I got out of bed, put myself together and traveled along through the routine of a day I'd rather not have done (although to be honest, it was yesterday I would have happily shit-canned).

When my days are filled with routine and happiness, I am completely oblivious to just how quickly life can change. I forget that conditions for the perfect storm can show up without warning and burst that pretty little happy bubble. It's good that I forget because otherwise I would spend my "happy" time worrying ad nauseum about when the storms are going to show up. They always do, no matter who you are or what your circumstances. The reverse, however, is also true. In our darkest hours, light is just around the corner. I remember this scene from Parenthood, one of my all-time favorite movies, where the grandma is talking about loving the roller coaster and how many people are afraid of it, but for here it's just wonderfully exciting. Life is every bit the roller coaster she's ascribing it to and somehow I've finally learned that when it's on that downhill turn, it's okay to throw up as long as you keep going. And even though I didn't wanna "adult" today, I did it anyway...and I survived. Bless you Friday! Come to mama!