Amy M. Schaefer
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From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
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The Skin You're In

4/24/2015

2 Comments

 
Picture
Image@pinterest
"Beautiful young people are accidents of nature. Beautiful old people are works of art." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

I was out recently and ran into a woman I've known a long time. She asked me about my cancer surgery and I lifted my hair, showing her the wicked looking scar on my neck. She flinched and commented, "You should see a plastic surgeon about that. They can probably cover it up completely." I laughed, replying, "It doesn't bother me. Battle wounds of life. Besides, it looks like somebody slashed my neck. That is the makings for a damn fine story." She smiled but I'm pretty sure she disagreed. It's okay.

My skin is not flawless and as Time marches on, I'm sure it will be happy to further add to my imperfections. I don't mind. My body isn't cover model perfect (...and with technology being what it is, I'm pretty sure those on covers aren't either), but I'm not completely unfortunate looking naked and that's good enough for me. There is a peace in accepting who I am inside and out. It's not an easy state of mind to get to, especially with all of the pressures we are bombarded with on a daily basis to look this way or that. I don't like being told how to look (i.e. "Oh, you should colour your hair. Your grey is showing."...yes someone did, in fact, say that to me not long ago). My body, like my heart and soul, has seen "Life" and carries the aftermath of living it around with me, inside and out. Lines at the corners of my eyes? Remind me that I do know how to smile and actually do it on occasion. Grey hairs? Remind me that I was a military wife for twenty-four years (a tough job) and a mother twenty-two years and counting (even tougher). My hope is that everyone will learn to love and embrace the "skin you're in" because being who you are, proudly and unapologetically, is very beautiful. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and true beauty can't be seen with your eyes. It does, however, glow, shining light all around. It knows no age restrictions, rules, nor does it fit into any box constructed by "society's views of what constitutes beauty". All of that is ugly, manipulative hogwash. Be your own kind of beauty. The people who matter will see it and be dazzled!
2 Comments
B B King
4/24/2015 07:32:04 am

Ok, I'm back. You right, we do agree on a number of things - quite a lot actually.
I too have scars, battle wounds. imperfections if you will but they are there for a reason. As you live life, you experience many things and in my case it has been cancer, bad knees and appendix - all leaving their scars.
I consider them conversation pieces although yours show and mine only when I am shirtless and wear shorts. There are a couple of other scars but they all have to do with living your life the best you can.
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder in the same way as 'one mans trash is another mans treasure". Perhaps not the best example but you get the idea.
Another example is when I was in high school I like skinny girls. My high school sweetheart and first wife was so skinny I could put my thumb and finger completely around her wrist. Then as I grew older I liked a little more meat on the bone and as I have gotten to where I am now I find it has nothing to do with how a person looks it has more to do with who they are. I think you mentioned that before.
My wife now is not a beauty queen but she is a beautiful person and all I need.
It has to be hard on women with so much advertising a certain look - not too fat and not too skinny. I see where the girls now are doing stupid things to their lips to look like some kind of star. It's really sad they don't realize they are beautiful in their own right and should be taken in that light. I blame men as much as those girls because they try to change the young girl to look like something they're not.
It's very sad. I say be who you are and if you can't take me for who I am then you are not the one for me.
Easier said then done, I know

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Amy Marie Schaefer
4/24/2015 11:24:03 am

I have been working with kids for almost a decade and raising two daughters longer than that...it makes me nuts to see just how absent self-esteem and self respect are especially in the lives of our youth. As adults I feel like the only good combat to all of the negative body images is to teach them a better, broader view of what is beautiful or handsome. To me "ugly" has everything to do with behavior and zero to do with looks.

Thank you for your comments!

Always,
A.

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    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

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  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery