The People We Never See Again

When you stop and think about all the people you come into contact with on a daily basis throughout the course of a lifetime, it's perfectly logical, normal even, that there are thousands, hundreds of thousands of faces you will never see again. Just that once. A brief encounter or perhaps a longer conversation...whatever the case, most of the time it's "one and done." This simple fact can be quite a blessing when referring to, say, that rude and annoying person in line in front of you at Walmart, but starts to become problematic when you have more than a cursory thought or feeling towards said person. That someone you kissed on the beach that summer long ago, whose name escapes you now and yet even though so much time has passed, still the memory remains clear and sweet, tucked away among other lovely things. It is the next level up that gets me, and by that I mean it sparks a full blown panic attack if I allow those thoughts to creep in. Most of the time I can keep them at bay...but not today.

Today I sit here on my deck surrounded by trees of Spring green, knowing I've met people who have forever become a defining moment in my life and I'll never lay eyes on them again...honestly, my heart pounds like an anvil in my chest just writing it down and seeing the words. I have read or heard a thousand cliches' about making every moment count, or the only time we have is now, but none of them smack so HaRD that they knock the breath out of me as the stark reality of, "This moment and ONLY this one, that is yours. That is the LAST. Remember." I have to stop writing and breathe in great gulps of air. I stare out towards the woods, but what I really see are those faces, my group of "last time faces" that now have me half-blind with tears. I want to run down into the woods and scream at the top of my lungs, "Wait! NO! I wasn't ready!" It would be utterly pointless, of course. Time waits for no one. It moves and ticks, beats and marches ever forward. "Get up," I hear myself say. "Keep walking and don't look back," I add, hoping my feet remember what to do next, while I wait for the rest of me to catch up. This is it. I know better than most that the only moment we are promised is the one happening RIGHT NOW. I am determined not to waste it and that determination guides every single choice I make. As for all of those faces I'll never see again but mean so much to me...I left a piece of me with you. It cost me but the price was worth it. And to that random guy who nearly crashed his truck into a pole at the light because he was staring at me, thanks. That really does still make me smile. If you only get the chance to see a face once in a lifetime, it ought to leave a lasting impression!