Amy M. Schaefer
  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery

From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
Button Text

The Past, The Present, & The Future Walk Into A Bar...

2/1/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
The Past: Aunt Mattie & Me, 1973
Picture
The Present: My Husband & Me, 2016
There have been so many changes in my life the past several years, sometimes it leaves me breathless, trying to catch up. Things to this point have not turned out the way I expected. I'm coming to realize I would do well to just expect that is always going to be the case, because in forty-six years that's been one constant trend. And there was a time when I felt like I needed to run from my past, or hide from it. Yeah, that doesn't work out well, either. Unpacking and living in the past isn't good, but not dealing with it is even more destructive. I have come to accept that I am the person I am today because of my past. I have also come to realize that the parts of me that always felt "ugly" were due to the fact that I hadn't dealt with whatever it was that needed tending before I could find a way to love myself in spite of my mistakes, misgivings, or misinterpretations from others that I took too much to heart.

What amazes and comforts me about these realizations is I have read many, many other stories of self-discovery from various people, many of whom are complete strangers, who have reached the same space I'm in now (or they are on various timeline points in that process). I think back to times when it felt as if I was the only one who didn't seem to have my shit together, now realizing that truly we are all just winging it. Some of us are just more vocal about it than others. Even more profound, to my mind, is how often this part of my story is parroted around the country, around the globe. You would think considering all of the things we have in common, we would be at a place where we no longer, as a people, kill one another for our differences. In a world that feels like it's spinning out of control, how is it that its people, humanity, have yet to discover our common ground? And how is it that with all of this, I still feel detached AND connected at the same time? It's an odd, odd feeling, for sure.

I don't know what the future holds, and even if I had a crystal ball to tell me, I'm not sure I'd look. The uncertainty of not knowing helps keep me sharp. It also keeps me focused on today, now, and the things I CAN control (although it still drives me bonkers to know there are many things utterly out of my control that could go horribly wrong and me with not a damn thing to do about it). Wherever this article finds you today, I hope it includes pieces of hope for what will be, joy for what is, and solace in what has been.

Always,
A.
Picture
Image from zazzle.com
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

    Archives

    August 2021
    March 2020
    August 2019
    June 2019
    March 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

    Categories
    A View From the Hill: Short Stories by Mattie Hill Shields

    All

    Button Text

    RSS Feed

    View my profile on LinkedIn
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery