Amy M. Schaefer
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From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
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The Last Breath

3/7/2016

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What would you say with your very last breath? Perhaps you would need no words at all and merely take that breath into your lungs, exhale and be gone. Often we think there is "time", time to do all of the things on our list of things to "get to", but really the only time is the now we're living in at this very moment. A recent tragedy close to me has had me thinking about this a lot over the last two days. Two days ago, one family's life changed forever. Two days ago, one young life came to an abrupt end. This is not abnormal, in fact there were, I'm sure, many more than just that one who ceased to be on Saturday and in the days that have followed. But this one was close and that puts an exclamation mark on it for me.

We often speak in terms of forever, but the truth is nothing in this life is permanent. Very little in this life lasts long at all..I think of those I've lost, either to death or for other reasons, and wonder if I was "present" every moment I had available to me. I wonder if I said what I needed to say. And I know that soon enough, the countdown of life will run out on me. If I peel back all the layers of inconsequential things to uncover the substance of my existence, I find that I haven't devoted enough time to the absolute JOY of living. Instead, I have wasted time on worry, or anger, hurt feelings or sadness, grudges, empty promises, and disappointments. I mean, let's face it, living almost any life comes with these things naturally, but how much unnecessary time and importance do we give them? I can only speak for myself when I say that it's been far too much. 

Aunt Mattie used to tell me that when she died, she wanted to be able to hear Jesus say to her, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." I have no doubt she got her wish, as she was possibly the best person I have ever known. For me, I want my life to have mattered. I want to know that in my last breath, I can recall all of the love I gave with every fiber of my being. I want to wrap myself in the love I have received throughout the course of my life and know that it may not have been perfect, but it was always honest and full-throttle. As that song from Sons of Anarchy says, "Gotta look this world in the eye. Gotta live this life, until you die."
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    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

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  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery