The Butterfly, the Duck & the Worrywart

"Be like a duck: Above the surface look composed and unruffled...below the surface, paddle like hell." --Anonymous

On Saturday afternoon, while I rode with my husband in the boat on Lake Fontana, I thought the water, the day was just too beautiful not to take a swim. I asked my husband to stop in a "good swimming spot" (pretty much anywhere on the lake, or so the guy at the boat dock assured us earlier), and once he did, I prompted the Salty Bones Captain to come into the water with me. "Not today," he said but assured me I could swim as long as I liked and he'd happily wait for me.

I took off my jeans and stood in my swimsuit by the boat's edge--and immediately my head filled with worries. I'm not a strong swimmer. What is in that water? Snakes? Big fish? Dead bodies? (I know, I know that last one was a BIT irrational, but so is my mind sometimes!) The memories of my mom's jerk boyfriend, who nearly drowned me while trying to "teach" me how to swim by tossing me into the lake, clogged my throat, making me afraid. I leaned close to the water's edge, putting my hand in and reminding myself that this wasn't THAT lake and I wasn't eight. I reminded myself, too, that Brad is a strong swimmer and wouldn't let me drown. "Nothing in this lake is going to harm you", I told myself. I wanted so much just to be unafraid and jump in, enjoying this place that was so beautiful it nearly took my breath away, but my worries had their teeth in me. Then, my husband tossed me a life jacket. "Put that on--then you won't drown," he said pragmatically and winked at me. "Of course I won't drown. You won't let me," I reminded him. "No, I won't but you're not quite as sure of that as you sound, otherwise you'd be in the water by now," he said, smiling.

I stood up and put on the life jacket, checking to make sure it clicked tightly around me. I walked to the side, and just as I was leaning against the rail, a butterfly landed by my head, then flitted in front of my face and away as if to encourage me. I sat, putting my feet in the water and as I worked up my courage, a pretty little duck (the one seen above) landed in the water near me. She swam around in front of me, quacking happily as if to say, "Come on it, it feels great!" I jumped in and she swam around me and our boat awhile, until I decided to get out and dry off. I fed her a couple of pretzels by way of thanks for keeping me company, which she devoured with appreciative gusto! She reminded me--a duck has no worries, they do all they do on instinct and faith--and they make really great swimming companions, although she was WAY better at it than I am!

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