The Birth of a Novel

"If a story doesn't come out of the hot center of you, it's not a story worth telling." ~author Unknown

The first book I wrote was not at all the one I'd intended to be my first. It wasn't even on my writing radar, in fact. I'd been keeping various story ideas in a notebook for many years, adding to it as new ones popped into my mind and Abby's story was not among them. Her story was born in the "hot center" of me from circumstances that had been building a very long time. 

In 2004, my husband did a remote tour in Korea. Prior to him leaving, our marriage was in a very bad place. The loneliness of being a military wife had taken a huge toll on me mentally and emotionally. I was ready to give up. There were other factors weighing heavily in regards to that decision, but spending so much on my own was the most pressing. I was tired...of sleeping alone, facing every problem, worry, and issue alone. All of it had become too much for me to carry.  When my husband was gone, I felt like a single parent and when he was home I felt as if we were glorified roommates. It seemed completely pointless to continue down that path and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in a relationship that felt so utterly disconnected. My husband and I agreed that when he returned from his fourteen month tour, we'd quietly divorce, deciding together it would be the easiest time due to the fact that we'd already been living apart for over a year.

The first part of his tour, from December 2003 to June of 2004, I was finishing up a teaching contract in Arizona, selling our house, prepping for the move and staying busy. I had little time to dwell on the huge life-change that was coming. In June, my husband came to the states on his mid-tour to move the girls and me to North Carolina to live with my father. Once he returned to Korea, all I had was time on my hands, which kept me frequently stuck in my own head (NOT a good thing), going over the last sixteen years of my life and reflecting on all the choices I'd made. I questioned everything, picking each choice apart in minute detail, until I nearly drove myself crazy. While taking my girls back to school shopping, I bought myself some pens and notebooks. It had been a long time since I'd journaled and I thought that might help me to unclutter my messy brain. The next day, after taking the girls to school, I began on that first blank page and I swear by day three I'd filled up half of a notebook. By the weekend, the seed of Abby's story had been planted. I spent the next three weeks writing her story, sometimes having it pour out so fast my hand cramped! When it was done, I felt as if I'd just returned from a long, arduous trip! I set it aside, wondering what to do next. Publish it? I didn't even know how to being going about that. Was I even brave enough to put it "out there" with so much raw, personal emotion clear in the characters, the chapters? It took ten years for that answer to be "YES"!

Sometimes a story comes out in just that way...born in the fires of your life burning down around you. My second piece of writing advice, write THAT story down (...or type it on your computer), the one that insists on being told. Even if you never intend to share it, don't keep it locked up inside. Some stories don't need to be publicly told; they need acknowledgement, even if that's just by you. After all, whether we write them down or share them, we are all a collection of stories being constantly "written" on the world every day that we exist. Now that I've gotten over the fear of opening up who I am in such a public way, not only is my creative side dancing a jig at having an outlet, but the things that hurt me deeply for a long time have truly begun to heal. Every bit of feedback I get is more balm on those wounds and every person helped by my words builds the wings that make me FLY! Tell your story. You won't regret it!

---