Technology Makes Me Her Bitch

Image from thesalesblog.com

On Sunday, as we were cleaning out the camper and winterizing it, my cellphone slipped out of my pocket and hit our concrete driveway right on the corner shattering the screen. In all the years that I've had a cellphone, this is the first casualty I've experienced and it was brutal. The rest of the day, trying to use it with a broken screen drove me bonkers! My very sweet husband took me out the next evening to replace my poor, deceased phone (...probably so I'd hush about it. I know my irritation and complaints were driving him nuts. Hell, they were driving ME nuts!) As I perused the various phone selections, it struck me just how weird I am about my phone. I don't want one too big or too complicated. I want one that has a lot of pretty cases to pick from AND I want to be able to make the new one look almost exactly like the old one so it feels familiar. When the guy helping us asked me what kind of phone I wanted and I told him all of those things, I'm sure he thought I'd lost it, although he politely showed me what his store had to offer. After much discussion on memory issues, easy settings, price and durability, we finally came to the conclusion that an iphone would fit my needs. I've never had an iphone before. All the stuff is different. He attempted to give me a crash course in the things I'd need to know, but I forgot half of the things he told me almost immediately (probably because I wasn't really listening) as I struggled to figure out how to set my ringtones properly. I thought I had it down, really I did and bless him the sales guy DID explain to me how to purchase the ones I wanted and where to look for anything else I might need. But no matter what I tried, all my phone would do was vibrate. I made my husband call me from his phone a half dozen times. I called myself from the house phone and nada. No sounds whatsoever. With great frustration and disgust, I handed it over to my husband before bed, and he played with it awhile to no avail. "We'll figure it out tomorrow," he said on a yawn. "Time for sleep." I didn't know how I was supposed to sleep with my phone still not "right" but I gave it a go.

I dragged my sleepy butt out of bed this morning, having absolutely no time to try and puzzle out why the sounds still weren't working. Finally, after coming home from work today and clicking just about everything I knew to click, buying a new ring tone (which was my old ring tone that I dearly love), setting all the other buttons for things in a desperate attempt to make my phone make SOME noise, I admitted bitterly that it was beyond my ability and drove down to the Verizon store in defeat. When I told the little sales girl my problem, she showed me the little button on the side that flips up and down...up for sound, down for vibrate! Wait. WHAT? There's a button on the side??? I would have never figured that out on my own and after she pointed it out I felt completely stupid (or at least barely half as intelligent as my SMARTphone). How has my life become so wrapped around the axel when it comes to my phone or my laptop? It's ridiculous and yet it has been a giant source of my worry and angst for two days now! Do my contacts have pictures? Are the pictures centered and light enough to see the face of whomever they belong with? (And in case you're wondering, I did pressure the sales guy who told me to call him if I needed any help to allow me to take his picture so I'd have one with HIS face!) Do the contacts I want to have personal ring tones have them and are they set properly? And how do I shut everything off to quiet when I'm out in public (use the dumb/smart little button on the side, goofball)? Is it weird that I think it's wicked cool my phone opens up to the home screen because it recognizes my FINGERPRINT??? Yes, I sat in utter wonder like a complete dork as my phone scanned my fingerprint and filled in all the little lines on screen for MY finger. It's going to take me months to figure out all the bells and whistles for this entirely new set-up (and that's being generous saying I will actually learn them all *snorts*). By the time I have them all figured out well enough to do the few things I really want to do with my phone, it will be time to get something new (I absolutely H-A-T-E that part). Sigh. Yes, technology has made me her bitch. I'm not proud to admit that, but I'm still very excited to learn something new. And come on...admit it...that fingerprint thing is COOL!