Sunday...

Going to church every Sunday morning was expected in the house where I grew up, my mother's side of the family having strong roots in the Southern Baptist faith. My Aunt Mattie, Uncle Homer, grandmother and I all put on our "Sunday Best", grabbed a quick bite of breakfast and then spent the early part of the day doing Sunday School and a sermon. Our lunchtime meal when we got home always consisted of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, biscuits and gravy and by the time it was ready, I was starving. This routine became as embedded in my life as brushing my teeth before bed. "Why do you go to church?" someone might ask..."Because that's what you do on Sunday," would have been my answer for a very long time. I wonder how many others go mostly because it is what's expected, what they've always done. I swear, the first time I missed a Sunday I thought for sure I'd burst into flames and go straight to hell because I'd broken the "rules", deviated from the expected plan!

As I sit here this morning in my warm ol' bathrobe and bunny slippers on this chilly, rainy Sunday, I realize that my Faith has come a long way since those childhood days when "communing" with God was just part of my normal routine, not even an after-thought, but more like some blind thing I did without any need for thoughts at all. Totally missed the point in the beginning on that one, let me tell ya! Back in my twenties I started actually listening to various sermons I'd hear and it didn't take long for me to realize that while they might be great, inspiring even, when I'd go out into the world and see other people from "there" who had listened to the same thing I did, those people didn't exactly behave in a manner that showed the messages held any value what-so-ever. I, too, was guilty of the same sometimes. Then there would be the sermons where I'd leave angry, completely disagreeing with whatever had been the theme and thinking to myself that the message seemed to be directly contradicting the foundation of what "church", "God", "Faith," and "Love" are supposed to be about. I began to look more closely, not just at the core of the denomination I grew up learning about, but at other religions as well, and there were plenty of examples of hypocrisy to go around, no matter the denomination. It was in that realization that I abandoned most of what I consider to be "organized religion" and began taking a more personal spiritual approach.

There is a higher power in my life every...single...day. What you call him/her makes no difference to me, and in fact I often think of that higher power having many different names. I call him God and I don't always think of him as a He. That higher power I carry with me requires only two things of me...two very simple things: 1.) Be a good human and 2.) In all things, do the loving thing. It irritates me that sometimes I fail at one or both of these things quite spectacularly. They're not that difficult, right? And yet, when I'm angry, or rebellious, or frustrated, or just plain lazy...failing at them is extremely easy. The good news is God gets that and is patient with me and my screw-ups. He encourages me to make right whatever it is I've flubbed and learn for next time. I'm glad to do that because in the end I always feel better by making amends. I'm pretty hard-headed, so often it takes me making the same mistakes repeatedly before the deeper message finally sinks in! I DO get there, eventually. Considering the frequently messed up world we live in, that is an accomplishment. Life can make you bitter, jaded and cynical if you let it. I have no intention of allowing myself to become any of those things. I'm so grateful to have a loving guide that helps produce light for me, especially when I find myself in deep, dark places. I'm happy to have the Love and comfort of a being beyond this world who cares what happens to me here in this life and well into whatever comes next.

Wishing you a safe and nurturing Sunday, wherever you are and whomever you pray to (...or not).

Always,
A.