Sometimes the Bad Guys Win

"Some people see in your eyes all of the things your heart doesn't know how to say." ~Amy M. Schaefer

This picture was taken on one of the worst days of my life. Michael had texted me during my planning period, asking how I was doing, so I sent him this. He could see the answer to his question clearly. A few days prior, I was told in confidence by a trusted colleague to "watch your back" because she had overheard a conversation that "they" were going to find a way to get rid of me (...they being the administrative staff where I worked). I didn't want to believe her, hoped she was wrong. The day of the photo, I knew she spoke the truth, as I'd just come from a closed-door meeting with my principal, who slammed me in an evaluation (first time ever) of which I had documentation to refute without question, which she didn't care to see and informed me that I would not be invited back for the next school year. I knew this was the beginning of the end of my teaching career, at least in this area. I chose this photo specifically as the representation for my writing career, put it on my author's page and all my business cards as a constant reminder that I, alone, am in charge of my fate. It reminds me of how to build something beautiful, magical, and life-changing out of utter destruction.

In the two years since I finished that nightmare teaching contract, I have had many sleepless nights questioning the decisions I made that year (...like not doing my homework on that school, which has had the highest teacher turn-over rate in this county for quite awhile). I wondered if I had, in fact, done something so terrible it warranted the powers that be plotting to "get rid of me. I asked myself a thousand times if there was something I could have done better, or didn't do and should have. I've cried, screamed in frustration, and raged at the injustice of what was done to me. But when I'm done with the emotional roller coaster part of that experience, I know I did what I thought was right for my students, stuck by my own principles (especially when I refused to break the law and change grades that I was urged to change), followed the proper chain of command (even though the School Board Chair refused to speak with me) and made the very best decisions I could possibly make as issues arose. I have also spent the last two years investigating this issue and have been told repeatedly by credible sources that I'm not alone in the treatment of educators in this district. Two sources from DPI (the Department of Instruction) went on to say similar stories can be found all over the state of North Carolina, which is one reason why it has one of the highest teacher loss rates in the Nation.

I will continue to investigate and write about education issues, bringing light to the broken parts as often as possible. Being a champion on these issues has become one of my life's missions. What I will NOT do is lose one more night of sleep thinking I did something wrong to deserve what was done to me. One of the worst days of my life was watching a career I had worked my ass off to be good at go down the drain. One of the best days of my life? Same day!