Socially Unacceptable--The Dreaded Selfie

15 October 2015

On average, I take about five "selfies" a week. Most of them get deleted (...because let's face it, nobody needs that many photos of themselves). Many of them get sent to my husband (...because he digs it and it makes him happy). And some of them find their way into my blogs (...like today)! Why this gets such intense negative reactions from some people (and it totally does) is beyond me. Of all the things I could do or say that one might find offensive, this is it? The thing that pushes you over the proverbial edge is that I have a photo posted of myself? The shame! The horror! I just don't get it.

First, let me say that from a marketing standpoint, one thing that has been suggested over and over in my research is that readers want to know their authors. Building a reader base, a reader/author relationship is in part learning how to sell yourself and showing my visage publicly is one strategy I use to help grow my writing career. Since I'm building it without any help from anyone (for the most part) except my small fan base, it's a simple strategy I am equipped to manage. That makes it a win-win for me.

Second, I can't tell you how many truly wretched photos people have taken of me over the years  (my grandmother was famous for doing this). Every time I see one it just makes me groan. Honestly, I'm relieved when a decent picture of me "show's up" and it's not because I am particularly obsessed with seeing my face (which I have in fact been accused of). I see my face daily without the existence of any selfies and when I do I am reminded that I have my mother's skin and cheekbones, the Brown signature chin, and eyes with bits of both my mother's blue and my father's green. I see a woman who has survived a whole lot of crap without turning into a bitter, jaded "ugly" person. I see a woman with flaws I can live with, who still needs to work on other things (...internal things). I am neither ashamed nor overly proud of the fact that due to some decent DNA, I am not unfortunate to look at.

It's funny (...and by that I mean ODD not hilarious), that you see so many things encouraging people to be confident about who they are, and yet the very moment someone exerts said confidence even a little bit, someone is behind their back, or in their face ready to label them things like vain, cocky, or my personal favorite "putting on airs" (*insert serious eyeroll here). I find that utterly ridiculous and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Finally, whether you take, post, or have one selfie or a hundred, I personally enjoy seeing them. I especially adore the unique and beautiful faces of those I love, most of whom are scattered around our globe. It makes me feel as if those people are somehow a little bit closer. If you, however, find yourself annoyed by other people's selfies...don't look! If you hate them for whatever reason, don't take them! And if you are offended to the point where you feel justified in bashing me or others about them, then I suggest you NOT talk to me. In fact, stay away from me completely because I promise you eventually I will call you out on it. Selfies hurt no one. Attempting to change that simple fact by trying to shame others about taking them is very uncool!