Psyching Myself Up

The morning drive to take my two Praxis exams began with a pep-talk to myself that went something like this:

"I know since you moved back home, things haven't gone quite the way you thought they would. The obstacles you've had to deal with have been considerable, and some of those you built yourself. But you got through them. You have faced every challenge, reluctantly or with enthusiasm and every point in between. You can tell yourself all day long that these exams are wrong, for a myriad of reasons. But the bottom line is, they are in the way of where you want to go. Be focused. Be deliberate. Know your direction and remember that no matter what, these exams, like many other challenges you face, don't define you. And life isn't over at forty-six, or just because your nest is now empty. The whole world is up in front of you. Whatever you want. Whatever you dream. All of that...straight ahead! Do it, girl. And if you fall down, GET UP. If you fail, TRY AGAIN. And when you break, grab the gorilla glue, post those bits and pieces back on, and hit the trail."

I am not afraid of failing, never have been. My biggest fear has always been of being irrelevant. I've mostly conquered that one. Now all that's left is...everything I want and making that a reality!