Paging Amy Schaefer, Please Pick Up the White Courtesy Phone and Come Back to the Now!

I am ridiculously notorious for getting ahead of myself, which is why each day I make a conscious effort to remain in the now. This is NOT an easy task, no matter how much I know that while I can certainly guide my "future path", I cannot control all of the "other" things that are coming up ahead, or even prepare for them. I have, in fact, been known to vacillate from digging into my past, to over-thinking, ad nauseum, my future, obsessing over each and every detail to the point of giving myself a headache and missing out on the time that is tick, tick, ticking by. Thankfully, my forties have helped me dial back that character flaw to a degree that is much more productive and manageable.

It is an incredible balancing act to build your dreams with dogged determination, while keeping yourself firmly planted in today, one that is probably going to take me an entire lifetime to master. Sometimes, when I am plagued with bouts of insomnia, I lay there in the dark and wonder if my last words on this Earth will be ones filled with satisfaction, or frustration at all the things I didn't get to. There's this film clip floating around social media about a Hospice Care Nurse who posted about the dying wishes and regrets from her patients. As I watched what they all had to say, I thought that the most significant achievement of any one being on this Earth must be getting to whatever their "end" is without having ANY true regrets. So, while my future is still unwritten, even a bit uncertain and my day contains nothing "epic", what I do have in front of me is this...a scrambled egg sandwich that is calling my name, two books on my end table that I'm anxious to read, illustrations for my children's book that I can't wait to bring to life, and a Tribe of people I wouldn't trade for even one more hour of life! I'd call that a completely decadent "right now".