On Being a Dad

I chose a very good man to be the father of my children. As I was thinking of all the things I wanted to say about him that makes him such a great Dad, I decided that what I really wanted was for him to talk about his views on fatherhood, and in that way all who read his words would understand why I feel honored and blessed every day to share the experience of parenting with him. Here is what he had to say about being a Dad:

Me: Tell me how you feel about being a Dad.
Sarge: It probably spans every single emotion every single day. I'm proud of my girls every single day and sometimes I'm mad at them, but I'm always proud of them, even when I'm mad. I've never been disappointed with them, per se, but I've been disappointed with some of their choices. Sometimes I've been disappointed for them when life isn't going their way--example; when our youngest didn't get a role she wanted in a play because she wasn't part of the "in-crowd". But that's life and we all have to learn how to live with that. There are a few truly joyous days in my life--two of which were the days they were born. I was also terrified, because you just don't know. You don't know if you'll do right by them. You don't know if they'll be okay, even when you try your best to ensure that they are and you want the whole world for them.

Me: What is the best part about being a Dad?
Sarge: Seeing your kids set goals and attain them. Seeing them achieve things they want, and that can be as simple as learning how to tie their shoes or ride a bike...or finish college and find their dream job. Watching them grow--and learning how to finally understand your own father.

Me: What has been the most difficult part?
Sarge: (he chuckles) Every day! There's not a simple answer to these questions. Like I told our youngest the other night, I worry about her and her sister. She wanted to know "why"? I told her--because I'm your father and that worry doesn't stop from the day you're born until...well, you worry as much when your kids are 22 as you did when they were two. It doesn't change. It never ends. As an experienced father, you get what real parenting means.

Me: If you could change one thing, what would it be?
Sarge: I don't think there's anything I would change. You and I raised our girls in a stable, loving home. I'd have liked to spend more time with them, but with my job in the military that wasn't always possible. I made the most of the time I did have, and I think that mattered.

Me: What advice would you give to our girls, your very best piece of advice?
Sarge: Live for now, but plan for every variable possible and plan early.

Me: If you had only one thing left to say to them, your last words to them, what would they be? And here you can say as many words as you need, or as few.
Sarge: First, I'd tell them be happy and put yourself first. Second, don't just exist--LIVE. Don't just walk through life, take a leisurely stroll. Third, be proactive with your finances--invest young--before you go party, put money aside so your life is easier. Fourth, stop and listen--you can take that however you like...stop and listen to your parents...stop and listen to your life...however that plays out for you, talk less, listen more. And last, I love you.

Dedicated to the Schaefer girls and the Daddy who adores them from a mother who couldn't live without them! Happy Father's Day!

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