My Bossy "Off-Switch" Is Broken

3 September 2015, "How do I turn this dang thing off?"

There comes a time in every parent's life when they realize they no longer dictate their child's path. Instead, they are relegated to that child's category of "support staff". I'm really having a hard time in this new advisory role. Before now, my husband and I were responsible for making our girls "do right", i.e. brush your teeth, do your homework, keep up your grades, take out the trash, clean your room, etc. I understood my place and how to do my parenting "job". I'd like to think I was relatively good at it and more, but what does that even mean? Is there, like, a one-size-fits-all baseline standard with the rest just situational? If there was a manual, I missed it because half the time I just made it up as I went along, doing what I thought was right and hoping for the best. I also prayed...a lot! Now that my girls are newly independent young women, I can't find my internal mama switch to change the gears from authoritative to advisory. At the heart of my little rebel self, I KNOW that letting them make their own choices, travel their own path is good for them, necessary even. But bossy, ferocious mama is hard to shut UP.

Fortunately, my husband is a very patient man when it comes to all of his girls. He has to be to live with us! Is there a "saint" ballot box somewhere I can nominate him for, because trust me when I say being patient with us is no easy task! And somewhere from her perch in Heaven, Mama Schaefer is giggling her butt off at my dilemma, having endured many years of what has just now begun for me. Most of us want what's "best" for our kids, and in our arrogance often believe we know exactly what that is. The bottom line, however, is that the only journey we are 100% responsible for is our own. Each of us, for better or worse, must make our own way in this world. We can choose to take the advice of parents or others...live by examples we find admirable, or not.

I'm working on letting my girls "go" be the women they choose to be. It's HaRD and I'm not very good at it. I only hope they will be patient with me when I fail miserably and bossy mama rears her ferocious head. I also hope they realize that instinctive nature of mine comes from a place of deep love, as well as a firm belief that they can do anything they put their minds to! Maybe In the meantime, maybe I'll Google repair men to help fix my "Off-Switch".