Amy M. Schaefer
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From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
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Musings Under the Moon

4/20/2016

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Picture
Image created by Photographer Janet Hoots
The clouds blew swiftly across the night sky, dancing with a moon so full of light that even when covered its beams escaped. My thoughts drifted along with the warm Spring breeze, back to a random conversation recently shared amid a room full of happy Blues-goers.

The song playing was a sad one, about heartache and loss, a classic Bluesy theme, I commented, "Love often has teeth." The woman nearby replied, "It does. And some things never heal completely." I agreed, swaying to the beat of a tune most know well, at least by way of life experience. One gentleman said, "Better to have never felt, than to suffer from the loss." Here I vehemently disagreed. "Even when it hurts, the experience is still better than the 'nothing'", I told him, as inside, I shuddered, vividly remembering how horrible complete nothingness felt."But how do you know what you're missing if you've never had it before?" he asked. "You can't ache for something you don't know."

"Haven't you ever felt that somewhere deep inside you something was missing? Some unnamed thing that you can't quite put your finger on? A void that longs to be filled, but with what, you're just not sure?" He paused, "Yes." And after the song was over, almost in afterthought he asked, "What is that void for you?" He didn't really want to know the answer, instead merely making idle topically relevant conversation, but that was okay. It was at that point I'd already begun to tune him out anyway, my own mind now hyper-focused on answering the question that was merely making small talk for him, but meant very much to me.

The moon brought me back into the now, alone on my deck in the late evening and away from the crowded Blues scene. Bits of stars fought to shine alongside Bella Luna's majestic light, surrounded by a sea of black in between. Black, like those little voids found, I think, in all of us...voids that sometimes feel as vast as that glorious night sky, and other times, merely a speck of black ink on a large piece of paper, all but forgotten from notice as other words, new words and chapters and volumes fill up the page.
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    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

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  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery