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A friend of mine sent me a song today and I had to catch my breath as I cried through the entire thing. I'd never heard it before and man did it catch me off guard. I think he was a little disconcerted that I lost my shit (and if you're reading this tonight, it's okay...I promise. My reaction was totally NOT your fault). I'm definitely getting softer with age because honestly I had a perfectly lovely day until that EXACT moment those words caught up on something inside of me and rubbed against it until it hurt. Maybe it's because this is my PMS week and my whacky koo koo hormones are all over the place. Or perhaps it has to do with other things in my life, past...present...that made the song spill my emotions over the edge. Whatever the reason, I'm getting kind of used to just letting those emotions come and go as they will. I don't always like the ones that show up, but at least now I'm not afraid of them anymore. Forty-five year old me is mushy. I'm just lucky to be surrounded by people in my Tribe who are good with that, because I couldn't lock all of these feelings down anymore even if I wanted to...and I totally don't! When I can get through listening to this tune without sobbing, it is SO going on my ipod Country Music playlist. Happy Thursday, ya'll.
4 Comments
Debs
5/21/2015 03:25:30 pm
Oh my just what I needed at 6:20am haha
Amy M. Schaefer
5/21/2015 09:28:28 pm
I get wound tight too, Debs, and half the time I don't even realize that's what is happening until something like this song pings the release valve and those emotions just come pouring out like wild water after a storm gushing over the storm drain.
dwbs
5/22/2015 12:53:54 am
I love you to Amy, you have no idea how sometimes without you saying anything directly to me, your posts scream this is for you. just the thought that someone understands what you're going through, even though they don't actually know what it is, but for some reason they feel you. Quite absurd really out of the billions of people on the earth we can feel so alone, so lost and so consumed With the goings on in our life that we think it's only us. Xx
Amy M. Schaefer
5/22/2015 02:11:32 am
The more I write, especially with the blog articles, the more I come to understand just how connected some souls are with one another. And I've got to say, the experience is changing me in ways that I still don't understand but am so very happy about! Leave a Reply. |
About The Author
I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter. Archives
August 2021
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