Love in a Box

Image @ frombabieswithlove.wordpress.com

"When someone enters your life unexpectedly, look for the gift that person has come to receive from you." ~Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch

Yesterday I had a long conversation with one of my sisters and the most in depth part of our discussion involved the idea of love. Specifically, we talked about the expectations and ideals of love that we were raised to believe. One example was my grandmother, who thought that love was like this little well. You drew from it in drips and cups, doling out varying amounts to people who deserved it. I have no idea how she determined who was worthy of her love and who wasn't, but I knew from an early age that I didn't buy into her way of thinking. I could write pages speculating what love "looked like" to her, and questioning her version's authenticity, but not today. My focus today is the concept of "love in a box", i.e. the rules and definitions created by society that we are supposed to conform to.

I told my sister, "Society says in relationships love is supposed to be this or that and certain things are not possible, or not allowed..." "Yeah," she replied, "but it's not that simple, is it?" "No," I agreed. "People are messy. I don't think any of us really fit into per-determined boxes, just some of us are more vocal about it than others. I don't want to be told how I'm supposed to feel, or be judged because I don't conform to others expectations, guidelines, rules. I mean, who has the right, anyway, to stand in judgement of another's feelings? Especially if those feelings harm no one." She agreed, and I can't express strongly enough just how comforting it was. She added, "We've been through so much together. You know I'll always love you, no matter what." I feel the same about her.

I think about bigger issues, Gay marriages comes to mind, and how there's this huge social and political debate about the "right" or "wrongness" of them. People bicker back and forth, arguing their respective sides, but the bottom line is, nobody has the right to tell someone else whom they are allowed to love. Period. I can't do love in a box, particularly if that box is not one of my own making. Nobody else should have to, either. I also believe that the more love you give, to the Earth, strangers, enemies, those close to you, etc., the more you have to give. Imagine the world we could create if every human on this planet took up the stance to love with reckless abandon. That's where I want to live..in a place that openly celebrates love instead of destroying it, that respects the way others define love, instead of condemning them. Maybe that's naive and unrealistic, but a girl can dream!