Amy M. Schaefer
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From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
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Love in a Box

3/5/2015

4 Comments

 
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Image @ frombabieswithlove.wordpress.com
"When someone enters your life unexpectedly, look for the gift that person has come to receive from you." ~Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch

Yesterday I had a long conversation with one of my sisters and the most in depth part of our discussion involved the idea of love. Specifically, we talked about the expectations and ideals of love that we were raised to believe. One example was my grandmother, who thought that love was like this little well. You drew from it in drips and cups, doling out varying amounts to people who deserved it. I have no idea how she determined who was worthy of her love and who wasn't, but I knew from an early age that I didn't buy into her way of thinking. I could write pages speculating what love "looked like" to her, and questioning her version's authenticity, but not today. My focus today is the concept of "love in a box", i.e. the rules and definitions created by society that we are supposed to conform to.

I told my sister, "Society says in relationships love is supposed to be this or that and certain things are not possible, or not allowed..." "Yeah," she replied, "but it's not that simple, is it?" "No," I agreed. "People are messy. I don't think any of us really fit into per-determined boxes, just some of us are more vocal about it than others. I don't want to be told how I'm supposed to feel, or be judged because I don't conform to others expectations, guidelines, rules. I mean, who has the right, anyway, to stand in judgement of another's feelings? Especially if those feelings harm no one." She agreed, and I can't express strongly enough just how comforting it was. She added, "We've been through so much together. You know I'll always love you, no matter what." I feel the same about her.

I think about bigger issues, Gay marriages comes to mind, and how there's this huge social and political debate about the "right" or "wrongness" of them. People bicker back and forth, arguing their respective sides, but the bottom line is, nobody has the right to tell someone else whom they are allowed to love. Period. I can't do love in a box, particularly if that box is not one of my own making. Nobody else should have to, either. I also believe that the more love you give, to the Earth, strangers, enemies, those close to you, etc., the more you have to give. Imagine the world we could create if every human on this planet took up the stance to love with reckless abandon. That's where I want to live..in a place that openly celebrates love instead of destroying it, that respects the way others define love, instead of condemning them. Maybe that's naive and unrealistic, but a girl can dream!
4 Comments
Mark B
3/5/2015 06:49:20 am

You know, I totally agree with you. I think people get too caught up in worrying about other people's actions and mostly just to make themselves feel better. Love comes in so many shades with infinite degrees between those shades, how COULD you ever define it for even yourself let alone someone else. If it makes you happy, do eet! <3

Reply
Amy Marie Schaefer
3/5/2015 07:14:03 am

Thank you, Mark. I love my friends (& they are a very eclectic group), my family, my students, etc. and I'm not a fan of people telling me that my feelings are wrong. Genuine feelings can't be controlled anyway. It doesn't mean that we are ruled by them but we certainly shouldn't have to apologize for them. I appreciate your support, insight, and the courage it takes for you to post them here in such a public place. I've written about my sisters of choice...you are one of my brothers by choice and I'm very lucky to have you in my life.

Always,
A.

Reply
Claudia Miller
3/13/2015 06:25:03 am

I absolutely LOVE this blog. I'm a little behind in reading March, but no matter when I read them... they just make me feel good! I love you!

Reply
Amy Marie Schaefer
3/17/2015 11:21:51 am

Claudia,
The fact that my articles make you feel good is even better than being able to write them! I love you, too!
Always,
A.

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    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

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  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery