Letters To Heaven: The Future

From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor. It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone! (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)

Letters To Heaven: The Future

9/21/2015

2 Comments

Little Colin, 21 September 2015

Dear Mom,

Your granddaughter came by today with the baby so that I could have some time with him all to myself. He and I danced to the song playing below, while I hummed it softly and he watched the fall leaves blow on the tree out back. His face, mama...I look into those eyes and that is where I see the future. I wonder at the man he will be someday. I wonder about the music he'll like, the memories he'll make and the dreams he will chase. Did you wonder those things about me when I was just a babe in your arms? I remember you singing to me when I was small, your voice sharp and clear and even now I'd give almost anything to have a recording to play so Colin and I could listen together to those angelic notes you were adept at weaving.

I feel so many big changes happening in my heart, like being rewired by the mark of time and knowledge. I am excited and frightened in equal measure for the world my grandson will grow up in. The urge to demand it be good to him is so strong. The desire to hold him close, steal him and all of us away to protect us all from harm is a constant urge I fight daily. I think about what you must have been feeling when I was his size and remember what I, myself, experienced when his mother, his auntie were both born. God mom, I have so many questions and no one left to ask. I know we don't always get our questions answered. Often even when they are, ten NEW ones pop up. So frustrating!

Anyway, I hope you will be watching with me as our little guy steps foot on his own path. Watch over him...help him grow in love and peace. I miss you, always.

Love,

A.

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About The Author

I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

From the Front Porch