Amy M. Schaefer
  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery

From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
Button Text

Letters to Heaven: I Know That Was You, Mom

3/8/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Dear Mom,

There are times since you've been gone that I see your hand SO clearly in my life. Today you sent me exactly the right person, with exactly the right words, exactly when I needed him. I am filled to overflowing with emotions of the blessing and gift this was. Thank you. I struggle every single day, mama, with wondering "Am I good enough?" or just "Enough" and even though that doubt has dwindled down to this teenie, tiny kernel after so many years of finding myself and my own confidence, it IS still there. When I'm vulnerable, it feels like a pesky rock in my shoe aggravating the situation and keeping it at the forefront of my mind. Usually, before it gets to the point of feeling unbearable, you or the Universe steps in and sends me just what I need.

I am constantly amazed at how many layers of you I continue to uncover even after you've been gone so long. Every time I find a new piece of you, I discover another quiet way you loved me. That, too, is a gift so precious thank you just isn't enough. My life is so filled with blessings, mama. I am humbled by how much. I don't know that I deserve them, but I'm extremely grateful. I still smell your perfume, sometimes (even though I don't own a bottle of it). I couldn't think of a more beautiful and amazing Guardian Angel to have watching over me and keeping track of my son up "there".

I love you, Mom.

Always,
Your Babygirl

P.S. I played your song today on my drive home from work and for once it didn't make me cry, it just made me happy at the flood of memories, REALLY GOOD memories, associated with it.

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

    Archives

    August 2021
    March 2020
    August 2019
    June 2019
    March 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

    Categories
    A View From the Hill: Short Stories by Mattie Hill Shields

    All

    Button Text

    RSS Feed

    View my profile on LinkedIn
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery