Amy M. Schaefer
  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery

From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
Button Text

Know When To Fold 'Em

4/30/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know." --Pema Chodron

My Aunt Debbie calls herself a dream killer but I disagree. She is a realist and thank the baby Jesus some of that DNA rubbed off on me! I think I have about a 60/40 split of realist to dreamer ratio, and I believe it is okay to abandon a dream when it no longer serves its purpose.

When I was ten, I wanted to marry Batman. In my teens and early twenties, I wanted to be a police officer, partly because I so wanted to be one of Charlie's Angels (because they were the epitome of cool) and partly because I really admired Aunt Debbie, who was a police officer. In my thirties, I was determined to become a lawyer so I could fight the world's injustices. I was torn between Constitutional Law and Family Law, specializing in Child Advocacy. Becoming a teacher wasn't even on my radar. I took a detour on my road to Law School when I accepted a teaching job in Surprise, Arizona and fell in love with my students and the classroom (which I think actually happens all the time, discovering a new dream you never even thought of while working towards something completely different). I thought I'd stay on the teaching path until I was ready to retire and then, I stepped into the teaching job from hell! The only things that got me through that school year were amazing students I refused to abandon, several staff members who were very supportive, and a strong anchor with my family. Once I found myself on the wrong side of the political and philosophical bureaucratic quagmire that education in North Carolina, and perhaps nationwide has become, fighting for my teacher dream became nearly impossible. I tried, boy did I try! When that year was done, I interviewed all over in a neighboring county, while my former administration made sure I was "black-balled" from behind the scenes. I talked to two different Central Offices, attorney's, and professors at various universities about what I could do. All of them conveyed the same message, "You can't fight the system!"

In my righteous indignation, I thought, "This is America! Of course you can fight the system!" I proceeded to come up with various ways to fight--running for the school board, talking to local reporters, emailing Anderson Cooper from CNN to plead my case. I even entertained the idea of running for governor (and God bless my family for not having me committed)! Ultimately, however, I had to concede my dream of continuing to be a teacher because while I won't go so far as to say "You can't fight the system", I will say that taking on something so big and broken is messy, costly both financially and emotionally, and too much for me to do alone. Knowing when to push through all obstacles and when to walk away is a lesson I continue to learn.

I set aside my dream of joining law enforcement because I had a husband who deployed all the time and two little girls that needed me to anchor them. I abandoned my dream of going to Law School
because I was unwilling to play by the "Good ol' boy" rules in order to get things done. I'm following through with my life-long dream of becoming a writer and it is amazing! I am, however, completely bummed about having to toss the dream of marrying Batman aside, although I did marry a "superhero". He wore combat boots, dog tags, and he fought every day of his military career for the rights of those of us living in America to pursue our dreams with reckless abandon.

*Image from joker_card_by_chronoperates-d4x0js9


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

    Archives

    August 2021
    March 2020
    August 2019
    June 2019
    March 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

    Categories
    A View From the Hill: Short Stories by Mattie Hill Shields

    All

    Button Text

    RSS Feed

    View my profile on LinkedIn
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery