Amy M. Schaefer
  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery

From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
Button Text

It Is What YOU Make It

4/21/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
"Some see a weed, some see a wish."

My mother searched for "happy" her whole life. "If I just had this...or him...or that...I'd be happy." She was in a constant state of flux, moving around various places, changing jobs, changing the men in her life, forever testing combinations of people, places, and things, ever-searching for that magical brass ring. As a child, I did not understand her obsessive need to be in constant motion, continuing to vibrate like a tuning fork being struck over and over again to draw out that which would truly, deeply fill her soul with music. For me, most of the time I wanted to make myself as small as possible, invisible to a world full of monsters and nightmares, happy to have the spotlight focused on anyone or anything but myself so that I'd be safe. I often wondered, "What is mommy looking for?" It took me years to have any real insight to that answer.

One of Aunt Mattie's favorite sayings was, "Your life is what you make it, and the world is how you take it." Sounds simple enough, however it is anything but. I've known many people over the years, myself included, who try to fill up the "empty" with various people and things...men who use a series of women to take what they need until they are used up and then on to the next toy...women who devote themselves to everyone and everything around them at the expense of themselves, until there is nothing left of who they are anymore...people who bury their "empty" with drugs, alcohol, sex, risky behavior, material things or anything to get a "high" that masks the black hole of nothingness...and worse, those who hide behind attitudes like, "It is what it is," negating any and all responsibility for changing their own circumstances. I have yet to decide if we allow ourselves to become stuck in, well, whatever we get stuck in due to our own laziness or our fear that our own actions won't be enough to fix ourselves out of that hole. I do, however, know with utmost certainty, that if we wish our lives to be different or we have empty spaces to fill, we are the ones solely responsible for making that happen.

"It is what it is," is a cop-out that denotes we have resigned ourselves to our 'lot in life" and have no power to change it. As I sat in the warm sun, surrounded by family and laughter this Easter Sunday, I soaked up the "happy" and the "peace" emitting from those around me...kids playing in the cool grass, discovering new things all around them, marveled by a pink quartz stone, or flowers in bloom, or ladybugs tucked amidst the violets...lots of hugging...countertops overflowing with good food...homemade cookies...soft Blues playing in the background...a colorful mosaic of laughter, love, renewal and Spring.Alive! Vibrant! Breathtakingly beautiful! "Your life is what you make it, and the world is how  you take it." I'll take mine with cookies, please!

0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

    Archives

    August 2021
    March 2020
    August 2019
    June 2019
    March 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

    Categories
    A View From the Hill: Short Stories by Mattie Hill Shields

    All

    Button Text

    RSS Feed

    View my profile on LinkedIn
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery