 Image from etsy.com "In all things, do the loving thing." Years ago I read about this in a philosophy textbook, while taking a class with one of my favorite professors, Dr. John Safford, one of the smartest men I've ever known. We were discussing who we are and what we stand for, overlaying them with the language of philosophers and when I read it, I felt a deep kinship for the concept. It can be further elaborated on from the following, an excerpt I found in an online philosophy magazine Philosophy Now (July/Aug. 2014 edition): A fourth conception of love is a chosen disposition or attitude to behave beneficially to another person, or towards one’s self. While it sounds relatively simple, putting into practice in your daily life can be extremely challenging, especially when one is hurt, angry, or afraid. Being angry with someone doesn't exactly inspire warm, fuzzy feelings of love. I will say, however, that when I allow any of those emotions, i.e. hurt, fear, or anger, to overrule my desire to do or say the loving thing, I ALWAYS regret it!
I believe it is important for us to understand our own layers, demons, frailties, and to build something inside of who we are on top of strong values that resonate with us, but what does that look like in everyday life? If you've been keeping up with my blogs, you already know that I have post-its of quotes and sayings all over my house (and on my Facebook page)--words of wisdom that catch me, stop me, make me reread them, chew on them, and decide how I feel about the words sitting there looking back at me. Words alone are not enough. What do I do about them? How do I internalize them, sorting the ones that mean something to me and discarding the rest? Today I'm forty-five, and I've been thinking all day about how I've spent this forty-five years so far. Has it been a life of substance or a series of empty words? In the spirit of that self-evaluation, I'm going to pull out some of my favorite quotes and post the ways they manifest themselves in my life. In the end, I'm the only one who can judge if I have lived up to the person I "ought to be"; that is true for ALL of us. But it is my sincere hope that you will also find bits and pieces that strike a chord with you, and in that discovery, we will be connected, our stories crossing over one another in places of meaning. "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."--author Unknown In my life, this means that especially with those I love, I do not say hateful or unkind things to or about them. That doesn't mean I stop speaking the truth about how I feel if they do or say things that hurt me, it merely means I don't tear them down because of it, or for any other reason. "Fall in love with someone who's comfortable with your silence. Find someone who doesn't need your words to know when it's time to kiss you." --author Unknown This one is not just about passionate kisses for me, although I'm certainly a fan of them. This is the kiss of a child at bedtime, a grandchild for no reason (like when babies grab your face and plant a smooshy wet smooch on you), a stranger, whom you kiss, or who kisses you when you've shared something that made both of you happy, etc. This is about showing affection to others when words are just not enough--and in my opinion includes TIGHT, sincere hugs! "You are the closest I will ever come to magic." --author Unknown We all know this person. At some point, for someone, we've all BEEN this person. I know the name of every person I've met who has touched me with their magic and their name is forever written on who I am. If you're reading this, and you are one of them, THANK YOU! "It is easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, hopes, dreams...that is being Naked." --author Unknown As a writer, I do this in every word, syllable, letter. Since taking my writing into a public venue, I do this in front of the world, whereas before I only shared my ALL to myself, usually in the dark, quiet, hidden corners of a dusty old journal. I'm learning the utter POWER of being naked without walls, and it is terrifying but so very healing and REAL that I'm in awe of the magic it's creating around me every single day. It is the love of connecting in meaningful ways to others, and finding my own self-worth that allows me to be so exposed even when I'm afraid. "Today I will live in the moment, unless it's unpleasant, in which case I will eat a cookie." --author Unknown ...because life, laughter, love, and cookies are IMPORTANT! "Take a deep breath and start again." --author Unknown ...because I need to be reminded of this often in order to continue to speak my truth, conquer my fears, face my demons, love those who harm me, be kind even when I'm angry and be fearless when I'm terrified. Today is the day of my birth...and I hope every step I've made behind me, every word I utter, every life I encounter will be "more" due to my presence on this planet, that my existence will leave a positive impact on all that it touches for however long I am allowed to reside in this place.
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About The Author
I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter. Archives
August 2021
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