In the Cobwebs, Memories Remain

I steadfastly sweep off the deck the debris from our weekend project of re-insulating the attic. In the nooks and crannies, between potted herbs and garden gnomes, I think...the two most difficult lessons I've learned in life are this: Not everyone you want is going to love you the way you need to be loved; and some things are ONLY healed with time. Cobwebs catch on the bottom of my broom, much like they do in my brain, holding bits of flotsam in place that would be better lost on some autumn breeze. I pick them off of the gnarled straw ends and release the bits, sending it away. It's easier with my broom...not so much in my head. Why do we hang on to things we know we should let go? Or maybe not everybody does that, only me. Of course, I've thought that before, that I'm the only one and discover quickly enough that is almost never the case, as other voices join my sentiments with resounding, "Me, too's".

I swear, it's just about a daily basis where I view what's going on in the world and wonder what we are doing...what is the point...where is this all going to go? And wherever that is, it can't be good!  It feels as if there is so much toxin, the human race will poison or drown itself in oceans of the stuff. Those are the days I keep my students closest to the forefront of my mind...my students, my girls, my grandchild, my Tribe. I cannot afford to allow my Faith that all will turn out well to fracture into a million pieces, otherwise, what happens to all of them? Somewhere between the potted plants still fragrant with the scent of fresh herbs, I find "the promise". Not long now before colder weather takes the green and smells from all that is close to me, but that won't last forever. If I am patient, hell even if I'm not and worry myself into a frenzy, sooner or later spring WILL come, new growth will happen. I swallow down the fear, gripping tightly to my broom handle in an attempt to hold myself steady, as my part of the "job" is done. Now I do what I'm not so good at doing...I wait. I hope. I have no control over what will unfold, but there is still that tiny seed, that kernel of Faith. That, and a reminder to find the light, cherish the good in each and every day. Take nothing for granted! I am fortunate enough to have a safe roof over my head, good food to eat, and people close to me who care if I wake up tomorrow or not. That makes me pretty rich, even if the whole world goes to hell all around me. I can't control what happens, but I've got that seed in my pocket. So, we'll see.