Amy M. Schaefer
  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
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From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
Button Text

I Don't Live Anywhere--I Live Everywhere

6/10/2014

4 Comments

 
Picture
One of my Air Force sisters recently commented on her Facebook page that she was living in a town where she felt as if she didn't belong and went on to add that she wasn't sure anymore where, exactly, she DID belong. I can relate! While I was living in the town where she is now, I also often felt like a square peg trying to shove myself into a round hole. I did find bits of places where I fit in, i.e. the wonderful school where I taught, filled with like-minded people who shared my visions for education, but for the most part, I was constantly aware of being a half-step out of "phase" with many around me. It was an uncomfortable and discombobulating feeling! Perhaps the feeling of being dislocated is a side-effect of military life. I say that because even now, living in my hometown after twenty-four years of being away, I no longer fit here, either. Prior to moving back here, I believed that if there were anyplace on Earth I'd fit, this would be it. Wrong! I am not the girl who left here so long ago, and the woman I've become doesn't know her place in this space any longer. Being uprooted and living like gypsies in places around the world changes your perspective--at least it has greatly changed mine. As a military spouse, I learned how to adapt to the places where I felt comfortable, like Arizona, and the places I didn't. Being able to adept, however, is  not the same as feeling as if you belong.

My biggest hurdle in finding where I belong is that I no longer associate "home" with a place anymore. When I think of "home" now, I think of people-- and my people are scattered all over the place. Some live here in NC, but many live "away"--several FAR away. I'm not sure if it was military life that caused that change in me, or if something inside of myself came to that conclusion sans military life, but whatever it was, I cannot undo it. And even though it makes feeling "settled" nearly impossible, I wouldn't go back. On every stop along my journey, I have met people who've become woven into who I am. I have tasted culture and ideas all over the map of this great Nation and gotten to experience America from multiple lenses, listened to many diverse viewpoints, and learned deep respect for those who don't think like me, as much as I have for like-minded people. I am learning to make peace with the real possibility that there will never be any one place where I slip into seamlessly, but that is only possible by anchoring myself to the people near and far who've become my home and provide some semblance of stability as I continue on my journey.

*Image from artfire.com.


4 Comments
Amy Hebert
6/10/2014 07:45:54 am

Yes. We travel together apart journeying down a road that is strangely similar. Our version of just down the street is a days travel. I'm glad we got to be on the road together.

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Heather Dibble
6/10/2014 12:33:38 pm

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Heather Dibble
6/10/2014 12:37:01 pm

What a great article! I'm glad I was a part of your journey and still a part of your life!

Reply
Amy M. Schaefer
6/10/2014 12:43:52 pm

Amy,
My road would not have been as beautiful without your light shining on it! And Heather, I makes me cry happy tears that you loved the article but it makes my whole heart warm that you stepped onto the same road I was traveling on and have been with me every step of the way since, even though miles and years have kept us apart, you are always with me!

Love you both!

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    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

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  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery