Down The Rabbit Hole

In Taking Sides: Clashing Views on Educational Issues, John Dewey postulates that the "main purpose or objective" of education is to "prepare the young for future responsibilities and for success in life, by means of acquisition of the organized bodies of information and prepared forms of skill which comprehend the material of instruction." He adds, "Teachers are the agents through which knowledge and skills are communicated and rules of conduct enforced."

While I agree with the goals provided by Mr. Dewey's definition, the more immersed I become in the education system, the less evidence I find to support what education ought to be within that system. Instead what I've found is a political system that in actuality is cultivating various individual or collective agendas which have little to do with the authentic education of our youth. We, the adults, make a lot of excuses for why we have such an ineffective system. According to www.childrensdefense.org, when compared to other Industrialized nations our youth rank 21st in 15-year-old's science scores, 25th in 15-year-old's math scores, and last in relative child poverty, the gap between the rich and the poor, and worst in number of persons incarcerated. In 2003, while attending a meeting in Arizona, I confronted a State Senator, challenging him about a bill he supported that would do away with the state's "Head Start" program, a program vital to assisting many children from poverty-stricken families to be on par with their peers by the time they reached Kindergarten age. His response was, "None of this is my fault. These budget problems were here before I was elected and I'm just trying to find solutions." At what cost? Who gets to decide which child's education is expendable and which ones are worth saving, helping, guiding?

My final year of teaching, I landed what I believed would be an amazing job at a Magnet School that focuses on S.T.E.M. (Science, Technology, Engineering & Math) education. Like the slick senator from Arizona, the administrator sold me in my interview on the amazing things going on at the school and the visions for the future that they had. But, in line with the double-talk of political speak, that was only part of a warped picture.

Over the summer, I meticulously revamped my classroom, a cold, drab trailer, into a welcoming, learning environment. On the first day of class, two of my four classes were all that I envisioned, filled with bright, well-behaved students who asked intelligent, poignant questions and made me eager to dive into the rest of the year. The other two classes, however, were like falling down Alice's rabbit hole and finding nothing but madness. Many of the students were hostile, aggressive, and confrontational. One young man, who was obviously high, his face a comical and lethargic mask of disdain, was so disruptive that I sent him to the office. His classmates laughed their glee and approval at him being successfully kicked out of class so soon, while his parting shot to me from the door was, "See you in ten minutes," before slamming it in his wake. Boisterous laughter followed for the next five minutes and not fifteen full minutes had passed before he returned, escorted by an administrator who instructed him to "sit an behave", which was completely ignored the moment the administrator left. As the final student left at the end of the day, I sat in the dark at my desk utterly shell-shocked! This wasn't my first year of teaching! I had very effective classroom management skills given to me by previous teachers and honed, perfected over the years to fit my own philosophies and teaching style. What had gone wrong?! The next several days were more of the same convoluted ride...joy and madness! I started asking around. Was this normal? Was I doing something I shouldn't be or not doing something I should? Every answer was the same, "This is how it is here."

By Christmas Break, I was so distraught about how to reach these students after exhausting every strategy I could find, that I broke down and went to my administrator for help. I told her my concerns, my fears and asked her what I should do. Her response was, "If you're so traumatized, why don't you just quit?" I knew for certain, in that moment, that I would get zero help and support from her or the other administrators. I also knew that while quitting was certainly an option no one would blame me for, I could not give up on these kids! How many others had given up on them? One seventh grade class went through numerous teachers that year because they were just as "challenging to deal with." These children, who often threatened me in class, challenged me aggressively at every opportunity, and refused to believe the message I was trying to convey, that education would open doors for them for a better future, deserved someone who wouldn't quit.

I wanted the girl who stood inches from me, her nose nearly touching mine while she demanded, "Mrs. Schaefer,, what are you going to do when one of us punches you in the face?" to know I would not back down from trying to help her. I wanted her to know I was more afraid for her future than I was of anything she or her classmates might do to harm me.

I wanted the boy who brought a weapon, a shank, to class and had it out to know I was watching him, paying attention to him and that I was not going to allow him to do something impetuous and foolish that would ruin his life, at least not while he was in my classroom!

I wanted the girl who accused me of assault so she could get out of doing her work to know I wouldn't quit trying to save her from herself and the damage she would do to her own future if her behavior continued.
 
I wanted the boy with so much hate and anger in his eyes all the time to know that there was a better way and that at least one person gave a shit about what happened to him.

And I wanted my administration to know that I don't give up on kids--the "good kids", the "smart kids", the "bad kids"...those labels don't mean a thing to me because from the moment they step foot into my classroom, they simply become MY kids. I take responsibility for them from that moment and I do all I can to invest in them.

At the end of the school year, I was told by my administration that I wasn't a "good fit" for that school and I wouldn't be invited back. Later, a colleague told me, "Mrs. Schaefer, you're not a good fit here because you hold ALL of your students to a high standard and you hold them accountable for their actions. That is not in line with what goes on here because here, all students are not created equal." Our task as educators is not to teach students everything they need to know. What we must do is give them "habits, ideas, and techniques that they need in order to continue to educate themselves." The fact that this applies to some students and not others is as nonsensical to me as the Queen of Hearts demanding her guards to "paint the white roses red"! What's next.."Off with their heads?"

*Quotes from Taking Sides, 2011, excerpts from pp.4, 5, & 13, Copyright 2011 by McGraw Hill.

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