Amy M. Schaefer
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From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
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Don't Blink

2/11/2015

1 Comment

 
PictureHannah Getting Her First Bath, 1992
"Legacy is not what's left tomorrow when you're gone. It's what you give, create, impact, and contribute today while you're here that then happens to live on." ~Rasheed Ogunlaru

Five minutes ago (...not really, but it feels that way), I held the little beauty in this photo in my arms. My oldest daughter, Hannah, was 9 1/2 weeks premature and came into this world in a frightening flurry of unpredictable outcomes. Was she going to be healthy? Would she survive? How could we help her? So many things were uncertain, but some things I knew without a doubt. I knew that I'd devote my life to ensuring her health, happiness, and well-being, and I'd die to protect her. Then I blinked and she was grown. I wanted to shout to the sky, "WAIT! I wasn't ready! Can we rewind time a bit, please?" But it doesn't work that way. Time ticks forward, ever moving and no matter how hard we try to capture a moment, hold it tightly to us, that forward progress is utterly unstoppable.

Today I stood in a doctor's office while Hannah had her initial ob/gyn appointment (..speculation at the moment is that she's 13 weeks pregnant, with a due date of 19 August). She is carrying my first grandchild and I got choked up at just the thought of hearing the heartbeat. I bit back my panic, forcing it into silence while I patiently stood by her. The midwife was firing questions at her about family history and all I could think about was, I am not ready for this. She is not ready for this, and yet as I type this, a beautiful new life is growing inside her. I'm fairly certain I gave all of the necessary responses for the midwife to fill in the blanks, which is a miracle. I feel like I'm holding my breath, waiting, hoping, praying harder than I've ever prayed...for all to be well. I'm afraid for my daughter, her beau and my grandchild, but excited, too. I can't wait to meet this new little person and get to know him or her (...and spoil that little one completely rotten). Today my Faith is much bigger than my fear, and for that I am extremely grateful! I am thankful, too, that the father of her baby wishes to love, nurture and protect my daughter and the child she's carrying. Their path won't be an easy one. Lots of things can go wrong, but that's life. I have confidence, however, in the ability of my daughter and her beau to overcome whatever difficulties lay ahead. I'll be rooting for their resounding success!

Picture
1 Comment
Brooke Dahl
2/11/2015 08:23:14 am

Awww! Congratulations! How wonderful and exciting!

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    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

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  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery