Day Thirty-seven: Four Letter Word, Infinite Meaning

Love, such a small word...four letters packed with a vast array of nuances. Despite the fact that love has so many layers, we still confuse varied other emotions with it. We also devalue the word by ascribing it to inconsequential things, i.e. "I love those shoes, that necklace, my car..." etc. Today I came across the quote below and it didn't want to let go of me. I read through it several times unpacking it and allowing it to sink deep into my bones. How did I feel about it? What faces could I call to mind at various parts, people who embodied each segment? Have my own experiences allowed me to give credence to the claims in the quote? These were all in my mind as I read:

"Love doesn't lash out in anger. If they don't care enough to guard their tongue, they're not responsible enough to love. Love doesn't shut down an close out. Love isn't a deserter, love is a fighter, it's a protector. Don't confuse strong emotion for love; love isn't just feeling.
Love is when feeling and action walk harmoniously. You thought other stuff was "Love" because you didn't know any better. It wasn't love if it made you feel inadequate, rejected, and unappreciated. You have to realize that people love based on their capacity. Some people have a pint, others a liter, some a gallon. And...
You can't expect a pint person to love at a gallon level. Understanding that, you get how it's so easy for people who are full of pride, anger, and fear to walk away; it's because they only have limited room for Love. And if you're somebody that has limited room for Love, my life has limited room for you. No hard feelings, I've just been through enough to know my threshold. I need that fulfilling, challenging, spontaneous, over-flowing with passion kind of Love and if it isn't that, I know it's not for me." ~Rob Hill, Sr.

It has taken me a long time to learn that I can only allow myself limited room in my life for the people who have pint-sized room for Love. I also used to think that I was only vulnerable at certain times, like if something tragic happened (i.e. the death of my mother), or when I felt like I was falling apart. Those times, in my mind, made it more dangerous for me to "let people in". Now that I've opened up all of me, examining even the darkest, scariest places, the truth is I am vulnerable all the time because my "authentic self" lives with her heart wide open. I love beyond gallons, so accepting teaspoons of love from others just won't cut it unless I do so from a "safe distance". Learning whom I can and cannot allow all the way in is tricky. Sometimes I'm really good at it, but other times I get it completely wrong, my trust-o-meter totally out of whack! Mostly, though, I am spot on with keeping people close to me whose "feelings and actions" are in sync, harmonious. Today I am happy to have so many wonderful people in my life like this,  who truly love me and allow me the joy of showering them with my own love, in return. I believe that's why we're here in the first place and that the genuine Love we give is the ONLY thing we do that matters. Everything else is irrelevant.

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