Day Seventy-five: The Big "C"

"Being brave means to know something is scary, difficult, and dangerous, and doing it anyway, because the possibility of winning the fight is worth the chance of losing it." ~Emilie Autumn

Hearing terms such as biopsy and cancer are a sobering, fearful reminder that life is such a fragile thing and can change on a dime. As I sat on the exam table this morning, the shock of those words held me in place while the doctor stuck a fine needle into each spot on my body that gave her cause for concern. She then took skin samples, all the while speaking to me in calm, reassuring tones. Her gentle nature was probably the mitigating factor in me not completely freaking out. Once she was done, I thanked her for having such a tender touch. She smiled and said, "Thank you for being so brave." I don't know that I'm brave at all. My hands trembled as I got dressed in the exam room, but her saying so does give me enough courage to set aside all of the terrifying thoughts about what "could" go wrong and just stay in the "right NOW". Before I left, she wanted to know if I had any questions. I peppered her with a dozen "what ifs", which she calmly answered, giving me the sense that even if the worst case scenario happened, we'd face it and everything would be O.K.

Right now I'm alive and all is well (...mostly, which is good enough for me). Right now I am surrounded by people who love and cherish me (...okay, not literally because that would be awkward, but you know what I mean). Right now I am happy for good medical insurance, family who taught me to be proactive about my health, and healthcare staff who really do treat their patients with great care. Whatever lies ahead in my test results (or any other facet of my life), I will face it as bravely as possible, even if on the inside I am trembling with fear. "When fear comes knocking at your door, send faith to answer it." ~Joyce Meyer....sounds like a good plan to me.

*Image from netiv.net

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