 Taken outside my house 28 October 2015 As I drove home today it was impossible not to be in awe of autumn's final act. It's like the trees burst into vibrant flames before they are stripped bare and left to nothingness in the cold winter months. I thought about life and the seasons we live, if we're fortunate, wondering if my mother was afraid in her final moments. I wondered if prior to her last breath she thought, "Well this didn't go as planned at all!" I swear I could hear her in my mind chuckling. It felt as if she whispered, "It didn't hurt, baby. I came to a place where people I love were already waiting for me and knew that those I left behind would be along shortly." It has taken me many years to be able to have these kinds of thoughts without the blinding pain that used to accompany them and I can't tell you how grateful I am for that.
Some might say the direction of my musings is maudlin and sad. I think, however, that we don't weep for the leaves strewn around on the ground, or the trees that will spend the next months naked. We know that every facet of life has seasons, cycles and that no living thing is immune to them. For the most part, they are as beautiful as those wildly colourful leaves, although I can't say I intend to grow "old" gracefully. If I get to grow old, I'm going to do it in a manner that would make autumn proud...vibrant and boisterous. I'm going to make my own curtain call something to remember well into the cold, heavy snows of winter, but hopefully not for quite awhile.
2 Comments
Tracie
10/28/2015 05:41:42 pm
Amy, my mom and I spoke just today about life and her impending death from congestive heart failure. She told me that she's content, that she's lived a full happy life. As I sat listening to her talk I realized that she is in fact at peace.
Amy Marie Schaefer
10/30/2015 11:30:29 am
Tracie, Leave a Reply. |
About The Author
I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter. Archives
August 2021
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