A Strange Discovery

In the early morning hours, before the sun came up, I stared thoughtfully up at the faint light of predawn as I pondered today's blog article from my warm bed. "Snug as a bug in a rug"...that's what Aunt Mattie used to say on cold mornings when you didn't wan to abandon the sanctuary of warm covers. I dug safely into the recesses of my mind, searching for any demons that might be lurking there.

I use the term "safe" because for the first time in my life, I no longer fear whatever I'll find in the dark. Since I started this journey of mental and emotional purging, my demons have lost their power over me, so hunting them down is no longer a source of anxiety. As I dug through my life in a fast-forward mode (only I was looking back), it occurred to me that finally I have exorcised them all! Sure, I still have unpleasant, unhappy memories mixed in among the joys, ups and downs to be found just by living life, but the black things, the poisonous things have all been dragged out of the spaces where they'd been hidden. This feels very strange and so new I am at a total loss as to how I'll process it. Going to have to let it cook up there awhile before I work that one out.

I snuggled deeper under the covers and closed my eyes, smiling in the dark. "So, this is what freedom feels like," I thought. I don't need "10 Days of Dark", as I'd originally planned, which means what I'll write about until Halloween is a complete mystery to me. It feels amazing having the weight of those heavy burdens lifted completely from my heart, even though they still bother me. They no longer crush me, control me, feel me with dread or damage my self-worth! Those demons still lurk around, hanging out among other memories and experiences, but I've finally learned how to tell them to "shut it", stuff a cookie in their mouth and move on when they become noisy. Perhaps one day soon I'll be in a place where when they won't settle, we can all just snuggle till they're at peace again.

---