A Heavy Heart & No Good Options

Image @ photobucket.com

Sometimes life hands you a problem with a clusterfuck of options (pardon the language). Logic says, "Pick the one that is the least horrible," but what do you do when a life is at stake? It's at least marginally easier to choose the lesser of bad options when there isn't something utterly critical on the line. When, however, the consequences and/or outcome could seriously cost a life, that becomes much more difficult. Today I feel lost under the huge weight of this particular problem in my life, which for legal reasons I cannot explain in any detail. For the purposes of my writing, thankfully the specifics are not necessary. I believe that most people will understand the magnitude of such a choice without the specifics, in fact be able to insert their own "problem like this" that they've come across in their lifetime. What I'd like to know is, what did you DO about it?

I have heard a lot of, "you're doing what you can" or "just do the best you can", and I'd totally be okay with that if I was the only one who'd suffer the consequences if I get this wrong. Whatever outcome, I'm tough enough to handle any fallout. The person who will bear the brunt of decisions made in regards to the matter I'm wrestling with now, however, is only seven. And regardless of what my part is in all of this, he is going to pay a HEAVY price (and has, in fact, already been doing that). "This is not your responsibility," people have said to me. To my mind, though, that does not absolve me of his present, nor his future. And even if I could ignore the situation when it wasn't "in my face", I'd still close my eyes and be able to see his sweet little boy self with crystal clarity. A little boy who is counting on the world not to squash him to dust under its boot before he gets the chance to become a man...a little boy who told me someday he wants to be a police officer...a little boy who deserves to be "rescued", like the thousands of other children who find themselves in a similar situation around the globe. And me...without a cape or superpowers. Damn it all!