Amy M. Schaefer
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From the Front Porch

I am an "accidental blogger". When I launched my writing career in March of 2014, one of the things that I decided to include was my journaling, which I have always found to be a comforting and therapeutic endeavor.  It was a big risk to open myself up in such a public forum, but it has taught me that, for the most part, we share far more experiences than we think. It's comforting to know I'm not alone!  (*the "Button Text" is the link to my first novel)
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A Baby Girl's Greatest Gift

6/12/2014

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"There will always be a few people who have the courage to love what is untamed inside us. One of those men is my father."--from the movie Flicka

For most of my childhood, my father and his father were almost mythical entities in my life. I didn't know much about either of them, so I spent a lot of time imagining what they were like. And there were times when I secretly hoped one of them would ride in like some wild, avenging Knight and rescue me. Often after my grandmother would remind me that I was "unloved" by either of my parents, I'd go to Aunt Mattie and pepper her with questions about my Dad. What was he like? Did he love my Mom when they were together? Why did they split up and leave me? She would tell me stories about Daddy---how he loved to fish and was close to his family, and how he was also light-hearted and liked to tease. She'd say that he and my mother were young and from such different worlds that they never really understood one another, and that's why they didn't stay together. She never spoke of why they "didn't want me" (I'm sure because she didn't believe the hateful lie my grandmother told me and knew I was too little to understand the complexities of the truth, or at least the truth as she believed it to be), merely saying that she wanted me and that was all that mattered.

I think the greatest gift a little girl can have is the gift of strong male role models in her life. I have a family filled with wonderful men, uncles, cousins, brothers, father, father-in-law (even though he is gone now), grandfather (who died when I was just a baby), whom I feel grateful getting to know as I got older, and I've had the pleasure of spending time with many of them. It is because of these amazing men that I know how a man who loves a woman is supposed to treat her. It is because of them that I understand what being a good father looks like. As Father's Day approaches, I want to say thank you to all the great Dad's in my life, including my own. To my own father, I want to say--I know you are going through some difficult things in your life, and I'm helpless to do anything to ease your burdens except love you, unconditionally, without judgement, without wavering, in the "noise" and the quiet, through the pain and the joy--always and in all ways.

P.S. To all the Dads in my military family, especially the ones who are or have deployed--who are active duty or retired Veteran's--I send you a special dedication: "I'm Already There Military Tribute" by Lonestar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgvSguOldZk

*Image from anna3101.wordpress.com
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    About The Author

    I grew up in rural North Carolina. When I was only nineteen, I moved away and became a military wife. My only aspiration at that tender time in my life was to create an adult life that "fixed" all of the "injustices" of my childhood. Secretly, however, I wanted to reach for the sky! I wanted to be a writer and find ways to "save the world" (my mother used to say, "You have Save the World Syndrome".). Mostly, I wanted to matter.

    Since then, I have learned to reach well beyond what I ever dared to think was possible. I've learned not to allow fear to stop me from whatever future I want to create!

    What keeps me grounded? My Tribe! What provides the wind beneath my wings? A well of reserves filled with unstoppable passion!

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  • Amy M. Schaefer, Writer
  • Blog: From the Front Porch
  • Novels
  • Short Stories
    • Children's Books
  • About the Author
  • Contact
  • Photo & Art Gallery